ok.. so here I am writing my first blog.. hope i keep to writing them coz i never keep to anything lol.

So i've decided to start blogging because I've read other people's and it's just inspired me to write my own. I love writing and I think it's a great way to unravel all of my thoughts without having to actually speak them. :) Hopefully I'll have some followers to follow me on my journey who can maybe relate to some aspects of my life. Hopefully I can inspire someone just like I have been inspired.

So, I've finished college about three weeks ago. I am now a qualified make up artist with no job ha.. pretty shit to be honest, but I'm probably going to have to get a job doing something other than make up artistry, for now anyway. I'm hoping to start nursing next year. i know, completely different path, but it interests me and I love helping people and all.. Make up artistry didn't really do it for me in that way.

I am now currently in my room, bored out of my mind, practically waiting on my boyfriend to call me lol. He's going away for three months tomorrow! I'm gonna freak out ha.

I wanted to write this to record my life, to have somewhere to write things, mostly to do with my eating disorder. I suffered with bulimia and anorexia for years. I went to counselling last year and kind of accepted myself. But I've let myself go out of control so, I'm back to where I started basically. I'm not thin, I'm 5'4 and weighed myself this morning (with so much bravery lol) and have slowly creeped back up to the unwanted 137 pounds. Wow, i know. Considering my height, i now look like a stump haha. So back on a diet I go, and up with the excercise.

I hate it because I haven't got much will power, I'm lazy and just love food too much. But i think the fact that my boyfriend won't see me for three months and I want to totally transform myself by the time he gets back, is motivation enough! Hopefully!

Today, I woke up at about 12 (remember, I am lazy) and did nothing. My mate came up for a while, then at about half one, i ate some cold chicken (was trying not to eat any carbs) and then did a half an hour workout. I took a shower, got dressed and all and brought my dog for half an hour walk. My boyfriend came up at about 4 and we went to his house for lunch. Ate a tuna sandwhich.. i had to. He knows all about my eating disorder and aaaalways forces me to eat. won't have to deal with that when he's gone :) so that's a good thing!

Came home and had chicken for dinner. Suppose i did ok, considering I never do ok ha.

Tomorrow, it properly starts!

My family don't really keep track of what i eat, we never eat dinner together or anything like that and I'm very rarely around them. So hiding this whole thing won't be hard :)

Reminds me, I have to ask my Ma if she'll transfer the insurance for me from her car to my boyfriends. He's giving it to me when he's gone. Yay! :)

Wish me luck with tomorrow :)
x